Neighbor Bashing

Fourth of July weekend was extremely bizarre for me, to say the least.  I had an unfortunate, infuriating encounter with a neighbor that I must write about.

I live in a "pet friendly" townhouse community consisting of 150 units.
We have 2 rescue dogs, a 60 lb. lab mix named Luke and a 5 lb. or so Chihuahua named Cocoa.

• July 4th, 9:30 AM:  Like every other day, I walk the dogs first thing in the morning.  The morning walks are always one at a time.  Cocoa has one of those small retractable leashes and a pink-camo collar.  Like other Chihuahuas, she is a bit snippy.  So when a couple walked by, doing a lap around the neighborhood, Cocoa did her growl / bark don't mess with me routine.  I tell them that she's a little nasty so they will not try to pet her. Since she's so tiny, she occasionally pulls her head out of her collar.  This was one of those days. She proceeds jump and nip at the couples' ankles from behind.  I yell and she promptly lays on the ground with her belly exposed.  I emphatically apologize and they continue on their walk.
• July 4th, 9:35 AM:  The guys returns to ask if Cocoa has had rabies shots.  I explain that she's a rescue and the shelters do not let the dogs leave the shelter without being vaccinated, then add, "Did she get you?"  "Yes"  "Did she break the skin?"  He shows me a small scratch on the back of his ankle, in all likelihood, from her paw nail.  (I admittedly am extremely lax on getting her nails clipped) I apologize again and they continue their walk.
• July 4th, 8:30 PM:  The doorbell rings and the same guy is there announcing himself as the "one your dog bit".  He asks for a copy of the vaccination paperwork.  I explain that my wife was the one who rescued Cocoa and since she is at the shore, I do not know where the paperwork is.  I say that she may be back on the 6th and I can bring it to him then.  He says he's not trying to get money out of me or anything (then why'd you bring it up?), he just wants to be sure there's no health concerns.  I assure him he has nothing to worry about and I'll bring the paperwork to him as soon as I can.  He says he'll come get it instead.  Weird.
• July 4th, 11:00 PM:  Doorbell rings again followed by a hard knock.  There stands 2 Police officers.  "We understand there was a dog bite incident this morning..."  (You've got to be kidding me!!!!)  Yes, I'm not sure it was a bite, but there was an incident.  They explain that since Cocoa, the ferocious beast pictured above, does not have a current registration with the town, I will be contacted by Animal Control.  I asked, off the record, if they saw the "bite" and what they thought.  I was relieved to read from their candid reactions that this was as minor as I thought.  Cocoa was standing in the doorway the entire time so they could observe the vicious terror she exhibits.
• July 5th, 9:00 AM:  As I'm sitting on a wall 100 yds. or so from my front door, while Cocoa does her business, a guy looking very similar to the "victim" walks toward me, but turns instead of approaching.  Behind him is a friend of mine walking his Siberian Husky.  As I say hello to my friend, I glance toward the other guy who seems to be walking to my front door.  As I tell me friend what happened, the guy starts walking back from where he originally came.  Suddenly he turns and starts approaching.  My friend leaves and the guy now re-introduces himself as "the guy my dog attacked".  He tells me he filed a report with the Police because I was "standoffish" about the paperwork.  I correct him by explaining I truly did not know where the paperwork was, my wife really is at the shore, and I would have brought it to him when she returned.  He says that he cannot believe that I wouldn't have gotten in touch with her, to which I explained I didn't think it was so urgent.  I add that he's not foaming at the mouth or anything.  He says I would be doing the same thing if I were in his shoes (not in a million years!) and adds that he's not trying to get thousands of dollars out of me or anything.  (Now it's thousands???).  He writes his phone number so I can contact him as soon as I have the paperwork.  I foolishly give him my number as well. Cocoa is in my arms during this entire conversation, not an arms length from his face.  She doesn't make a sound or move a muscle.
• July 5th, 1:47 PM:  I receive a call from Animal Control.  They tell me that since Cocoa was not registered with the town, I will be issued a summons.  She also will be on a 10 day quarantine.
• July 5th, 3:55 PM:  I stop by the Police Station to pick up a copy of the report.  The documents office is closed, so I ask to speak to someone regarding this guy's behavior, while I'm there.  Basically I ask if I have any obligation to give him anything.  The sergeant tells me that since he CHOSE to get them involved, I only need to communicate with them and Animal Control moving forward.
• July 6th, 2:46 PM:  I receive a Voice Mail from the attack victim asking me to return his call.  I do not.
• July 6th, 7:28 PM:  I receive another Voice Mail from the attack victim.  This one is extremely aggressive, saying I'm not a man because I made up a story about my wife being away and I don't keep my dog on a leash.  I stopped listening to the message there because my blood was boiling.  The whole message is on this video link.  This guy is freakin' nuts!

• July 6th, 7:42 PM:  Even though I considered not responding, I could not shy away from the challenge to my manhood.  I call back.  This nut job answers by saying, "THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO GET YOU TO CALL BACK YOU LITTLE BITCH..."  Pardon my language but I reply, "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?  YOU TRY TO SAY I'M NOT A MAN WITH YOUR LITTLE FUCKIN' SCRATCH ON YOUR LEG.  I HAVE A LIFE.  WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'M SITTING AROUND ALL DAY WAITING FOR YOUR CALL."  He keeps trying to talk over me, saying I promised him paperwork today.  "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PAPERWORK?  IF YOU WOULD SHUT YOUR MOUTH FOR TWO SECONDS AND OPEN YOUR EARS I'LL TELL YOU THAT BECAUSE YOU WENT TO THE POLICE, THEY TOLD ME I SHOULD NOT COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. SO THERE YOU GO.  SEE YOU LATER." click.

I have not heard from him since.  My wife came home on the 8th and quickly found the paperwork.