Dumb User Comments

I've been in charge of IT at a small industrial supply company in Northern NJ for the past 15 years. During that time, I've heard some ridiculous comments from end users.  Here is a quick list of some of my favorites, in no particular order.  They are guaranteed to amuse:

• Help, there's a message on my screen I've never seen before... What does it say?  I don't know, I didn't read it
• I'm trying to get into invoice recall and it's not working.  OK, hit spacebar then type INVOICE-RECALL.  I did.  Show me. (proceeds to type INVOICE RECALL) You typed space, not dash.  Isn't it the same thing?
• I'm trying to send a FAX and I don't know where to put the FAX number.  Where is your cursor now?  It's blinking next to FAX NUMBER: Why don't you try putting it there!
• Can you look at an order for me?  Sure, what's the order number?  Oh, I didn't look, do you need it?
• I hit ENTER and nothing happened, should I hit it harder?
• (On Saturday) If I FAX something today, will they have it by Monday?
• I lost a picture from my Email that I was saving.  Where were you saving it?  In my Deleted Items folder...
• When creating a new customer, put the company name in the name field.  What if they don't have a company?  Then put their name.  What if they don't have a name?